I wanted to share this story again because I feel it will encourage other women in similar situations. Yvette was someone who struggled through self-doubt, fear and feeling unworthy. She has been a follower of my movement for quite some time and has been able to find encouragement, strength and courage in some of the content I share. She's a great example of how LIFE can change, with a renewed mindset to activate your own version of success. Here is her story...
Dedicated to anyone going through the heartbreak of a marriage on the brink of divorce. Here's Yvette's story:
Everyone has a story, this is just a little bit of mine....
I became a wife and mother at the young age of 19. My husband wanted me to stay home and take care of our son and our home, while he worked. So, that's what I did. I cooked, cleaned, took care of my husband, our son, and years later our daughter was born. I was happy, or so I thought. Something was always missing, I just didn't know what?
Aside from feeling empty, my husband always made me feel like I wasn't enough. No matter how hard I worked to take care of everything, nothing was good enough. I wasn't skinny enough, I didn't dress well enough. Dinner wasn't good enough. The house was never clean enough. I wasn't vivacious enough. I just wasn't ENOUGH! I constantly felt a sense of fear of the uncertain future. What if we got divorced? How would I survive without him? I have no work experience, no trade, no savings, nothing without him. Then my worst fear came true.
In the Summer of 2009, I found out that my husband of 15 years was having an affair. This pushed me over the edge. I couldn't eat, sleep, or function. I dropped 20 lbs in 4 weeks. I experienced a nervous breakdown, and had plenty of panic attacks. I discovered that he met this woman at work. So that meant she had a "career". So she had to be better than me, right? She was the total opposite of me. She wasn't a SAHM, she was a "career woman". So, again I felt like I wasn't enough. That was one of the darkest and hardest times of my life, but I hid it well. I looked happy on the outside, but on the inside I was empty, defeated and I felt insignificant.
It took me many years to realize that I am enough! I've learned that no one has power over my life but me. I've learned to embrace my SAHM qualities. Being a SAHM is a tough job and it should never be taken for granted, marginalized or taken lightly. God gave me these unique qualities, talents and gifts for a reason. I was enough then and I am enough now.
I am no longer married, and what do you know?? I'm still alive and making it through life without him. And the emptiness I was feeling...well that's gone too. I felt empty because I was too busy loving everyone else but myself. Loving myself has made me a better mother, sister, aunt, and friend.
I believe God has a plan for all of us. Once I stopped fighting God's plan for me, things started to make sense and fall into place. Being a SAHM and caretaker for many sick family members in my past, prepared me for my new career path in the medical field. Today, I am currently back in school, at the ripe old age of 42!
My self love journey has been tough, and I've come a long way from that young, naive girl who thought there was no life for her after marriage. On the contrary, my life has just begun!
So embrace all your qualities, no matter how small you think they are! Our God gives you everything you need, and makes you everything you're supposed to be! You are enough!