Have you ever had a situation or season where it is difficult to shake off a bad feeling or how you feel about somebody else? These moments can be hard to shake, especially when you're on the self-love journey to freedom. Some of us are able to brush things off easily, but that's not exactly the case for all of us. When we have these moments of negativity, it tends to spark up things like anxiety, fear, depression and anger. As we try to self-protect against these negative thoughts/emotions, or process the treatment we get from a negative person; it's only natural for our carnal reactions to want to take over and do something about it. We lash out, distance ourselves, over-analyze, or cause ourselves to suffer. While there are soooooo many reasons behind these negative moments (or seasons) and/or why we experience others as those 'negative entities' -- one perspective I'd like to offer is this: did you ever consider that maybe (just maybe), this is a spirit or energy that has attached itself to this moment or this person? Let me explain.
I have lived through a few disappointments in my lifetime, thus far. Some struggles were easier to work through than others. I have learned to approach this suffering through my faith, my relationship with God, and changing my internal narrative. Sometimes, we have to encourage ourselves through the rough patches, because we need to set the tone in our hearts and minds for the healing process to begin. You can't receive what you do not invite. In the context of negative energies and spirits, I believe that spiritual warfare is very real. There is a God in heaven who loves you dearly, and an enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy your peace. If you acknowledge that now, it will help you better understand the rest of my explanation.
When we behave in ways that we are not proud of, or find ourselves on the receiving end of someone's 'lack of love' (i.e. hate, anger, jealousy, manipulation, verbal attacks, lies, aggression), consider that maybe this isn't YOU -- or it isn't THEM -- this is a spirit/energy that has attached itself to you or the aggressor and is using this time to compromise your peace. This is a revelation I personally experienced in recent days, and it's created such freedom in my heart and mind. I have someone in my life that I experience as narcissistic, manipulative, controlling and passive/aggressive. This is someone I love dearly, and would like a true, real and special bond with. However, these personality traits listed earlier, create a barrier and cause me to keep a safe distance. In order to self-preserve and ensure not to add to the angst, I keep my distance and in turn, keep my peace. Sounds like a wise choice, right? But the problem is...I do not WANT this distance. I want to be close to this dear person in my life. I do not want these personality traits to get in the way of my ability to be near and spend time with this person. So....the distance has only made things worse, as I do not revel in it nor do I necessarily enjoy it. I sought out God's word for wisdom, and here's what I discovered:
Psalms 139:13-14 -- For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
You see, all of us were created in His image, fearfully and wonderfully. He knew who we were and what we were made of, while we were in our mother's wombs. He bestows gifts on us all, and gives us life experiences that would cultivate those gifts into blessings that will be used for His purpose when the time is right. We were all created with a purpose, to fulfill the things He desires for us and to walk in the inheritance that has been divinely ordained to us as His sons and daughters. But, what happens is that when we do not walk in that confidence, in that understanding of who we are as precious children of the Most High God, we can instead allow the lies of the enemy to take hold -- unworthiness, lack, fear, anger, comparisons, jealousy/envy. These sentiments can appear as 'spirits' or 'energies' that attach themselves to people and use them as vessels to poison the world with their malicious rhetoric. Understanding this, I then was able to change my prayer for healing to better match the situation -- rather than focus on the person.
Before, I would pray that God fix me, or fix her. "Please deal with her, Father. She needs to be told about herself. She needs to know how she treats people is wrong. Tell her God!", was my prayer. Then I changed my prayer toward myself: "God, please fix me. Do a work in me. Maybe I am in the wrong and am doing something to invite this behavior against me?". Now that I know about these negative spirits, I see things like "manipulation", "fear", and "anger" as energies/spirits that have attached themselves to the individual, and wreak havoc on the intention God had for us in the first place. God does not desire there to be discord or disconnection among His children! He wants unity and love, just as any other parent desires for their children. And so, my prayer changed, instead I declared that this spirit/energy is NO LONGER WELCOME, that they MUST GO, and that they need to LEAVE MY LOVED ONES ALONE!!! It was no longer a prayer or desire to fix them, or me. We are God's creations, and we were made to love one another. It's this outside entity that has attached itself to us and is causing a disruption of peace, so that we are so consumed in the negative emotions that we are distracted from God and vulnerable to believing the lies (she doesn't like you, she hates you, she doesn't want happiness for you, you make her mad, there's nothing you can do to live up to her expectations). These lies come to steal, kill and destroy. They are not of God and so as His children, we have the authority to rebuke them.
This is exactly what I started doing. I began to pray for these spirits of 'manipulation', 'anger', 'comparison', 'passive/aggressiveness' and 'jealousy' to LEAVE!! They can no longer interrupt our peace, or get in the way of my relationship with this person. They are not welcome to continually prevent the bond that God wants for us. Rather than look at the person and think they are the problem, I turned my heart and prayers toward these negative spirits and declared that they MUST LEAVE!!! I know in my heart, that this person does not inherently have these traits, this isn't what they were born with -- they were created by a loving God with all the beautiful things that He created me with. We were created with goodness, love, grace and joy. All the rest are lies that the enemy sends to create dissension and destroy peace.
Who in your life has displayed similar behaviors? What relationships in your life, require repair of divine intervention? Not a 'fix' that requires 2 people, looking at eachother with a line drawn in the sand; but instead 2 people on the same side, looking across the line at a negative spirit/energy that has come to destroy their peaceful existence. How would this perspective change your view on yourself (your behavior) or someone in your life? Is it possible, that a negative spirit is using lies to wreak havoc? Just imagine the freedom that comes with this change in perspective. Instead of holding grudges and throwing stones at one another - we can be empathetic, understanding, and move forward with the freedom to forgive and look past certain behaviors.
This may not work for all circumstances or situations. We must practice wisdom in discerning the truly toxic people in our lives and make a choice to withdraw from an emotionally, psychologically or physically damaging relationship; if you find yourself in one. I would never encourage anyone to stay in a violent or emotionally damaging situation, whatsoever. My appeal is to situations with people we know love us, but have a negative energy attached to them causing discord in an otherwise peaceful situation. The presence of a negative energy can be acknowledged, addressed, and uninvited. Doing so, then allows space to invite all the things we DO want....love, peace, connection, joy and understanding.
May this message bring you a new perspective and help minimize unnecessary suffering.
Peace & blessings,